


Pets are Good for Your Heart

by AnonEhouse



Category: Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: Bot Feels, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff, Gen, Humor, Injury Recovery, Pets, Post-Iron Man 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-15
Updated: 2015-04-15
Packaged: 2018-03-23 00:30:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3748726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonEhouse/pseuds/AnonEhouse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You don't think Tony leaped off the operating table and was good to go, do you? No, neither do I. He's got to take it easy, relax, fix up his bots, take care of his heart and his body now that he's thrown away all the Iron Man suits, and it's just him. Him and his remaining creations.</p><p>Including two you haven't met before.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pets are Good for Your Heart

(If you are reading this on any PAY site this is a STOLEN WORK, the author has NOT Given Permission for it to be here. If you're paying to read it, you're being cheated too because you can read it on Archiveofourown for FREE.)

DUM-E and U were going to take a lot of work to restore to their normal quirky functionality. There'd been so much salt water corrosion, simple impact damage and even sea life taking up residence in their wiring -- if they'd been insured, the company would have declared them totaled and told Tony to go buy new models.

Even if there _were_ new models, they wouldn't have been the same. It wasn't as if they were _toasters_. JARVIS had stored their experience files right up until the Malibu mansion connectivity was severed, so Tony was sure with enough time he could get his boys back. He just had to fix their bodies before he could upload their memories, and then deal with whatever traumas they had. 

He was still recovering from open-heart surgery, including extensive chest wall and sternum replacement, removal of scar tissue on the heart, and an experimental procedure to encourage the growth of new lung tissue via the use of a newly discovered type of stem cell, plus the first round of physical therapy (just thinking of it all left him short of breath and aching). He wasn't ready to return to his normal activities, but fixing up the bots would keep him from going stir-crazy for lack of tech. Pepper was up to her eyebrows in sharks after all the publicity. As it turns out inviting a terrorist to your home, and then getting said home blown up, doesn't get you sympathy from the big boys, but sidelong looks and whispers that you're obvious suicidal, and do you want to do business with someone who blows up his finest tech on a whim?

Yeah. He hadn't thought that one out. He could have got rid of the suits quietly, before anyone knew they existed, but no, he wanted to do the grand gesture to show Pepper how nothing was more important than her, right _then_. He didn't regret it, but what with his physical state, and getting the Extremis fixed in Pepper and then the business repercussions... well, it would be easier to be apart from Pepper with her at S.I. headquarters in California, and him returning to New York than for him to be so close, and neither of them having time to be together. He wasn't going to the Tower, though. That was fixed up, fine, but he wanted privacy, and everyone and his maiden aunt tries to sneak in to admire the Avengers' quarters. They don't succeed, but it's a nuisance and he just wants quiet time to work at his own slow pace, while he and his bots recover.

He wasn't really up to a cross country trip with the bots in a trailer, either. He gave up after the first hour, and went to the nearest airport and hid in the V.I.P. lounge, eating heart-healthy snacks until a Stark jet could come and pick them up.

He slept most of the way, and was still groggy when an unmarked Stark van took him and the boys to the old Stark Mansion on Fifth Avenue. Pepper had sent work crews ahead to make sure the place was habitable, clean, and stocked with the necessities of life: a fully supplied workshop, clean linens, take out menus, and a refrigerator packed with healthy, healthy fruit. She _thought_ there was no booze, but Tony doubted she'd found Howard's hidden wine cellar. Not that Tony was going there. But it was nice to know that once he _could_ drink, he could celebrate with Pepper with a proper vintage. God, he even had to cut way back on caffeine. He hated feeling like a patient, but once he was recovered, Doctor Wu said he'd be able to resume a normal life, without any of his previous restrictions. That was worth following the orders to the letter, even the ridiculous ones like not lifting more than ten pounds, and trying to get eight hours sleep a night. Well, he'd try.

The first thing Tony did was link up to JARVIS in the Tower. The house had only a minimal compatibility, but at least Jarvis could see from the security cameras, talk to Tony, and relay any orders. And set a timer for Tony's work and rest schedules. "JARVIS, hey, can I uncrate the boys now?" Tony said after a fruitless attempt to sleep on perfectly clean sheets in a climate-controlled room, that had no smells of oil, overheated metal, or technically toxic chemicals and looked out through gauze curtains at a perfectly landscaped garden two stories below. It was like being in a hotel in a foreign land.

"Yes, sir. They have been deposited in the upper lab, as per your orders."

Tony took the elevator down, like an old, old man. He perked up when he saw the crates. They'd been locked with a simple thumbprint seal, so he wouldn't have to get yelled at for exertion. He frowned as he entered and saw streaks of fresh, shiny oil on the floor around the crates. "They shouldn't be leaking oil," he said, worried that he'd overlooked something in his admittedly hurried preparations to ship the bots.

"DUM-E and U are not the source of the oil, sir," JARVIS said.

"Well, where..." Tony backed up as something brushed against his legs. He looked down.

"YIPyipyipyipyip."

"MEWmewmewmew."

"Hey! How did you guys get out of storage?" Tony knelt in wonder. "I'd almost forgot you existed." A pair of small, rectangular bots wheeled close, still 'yipping' and 'mewing', but quieter now. "Talk about a blast from the past." Tony ran his hand down the soft plastic spikes on the back of the 'dog'. Its antenna tail wagged. "Good puppy." The other bot MEWed, and Tony grinned while he petted the back fibers on it, too and its aluminum vent hose tail curled like a question mark. "Hey, kitty." Then he looked up. "JARVIS? How did they get out?"

"The House Party Protocol was not specific. These prototypes contain the earliest basis for the coding that culminated in my creation."

"Don't get all snooty, JARVIS." Tony grinned. The pet-bots were a little worn, and their Christmas light 'eyes' were dull, but since they used their ears as dishes and navigated by a combination of sonar and response to vocal input, the eyes were just cosmetic. "How about I fix you guys up first?"

Both pet-bots revolved their ears and wriggled their tails.

"Come here." Tony led them to an elevated ramp and they climbed up on the table obediently. "Still going strong," he said happily as he gave them newer, shinier, eyes, and pretty new collars. Kitty had a silver bell, and Puppy's collar was always plaid... Tony admitted he'd stolen the idea from Dr. Who's K-9, disappointed when he learned it didn't REALLY respond to voice commands. He gave Puppy a new laser-pointer nose and, not to make Kitty feel neglected, she got a new laser-pointer tongue. He replaced a few bearings, some wiring, jazzed up their vocal capabilities, and their wheels, and then let them go on the floor and set them to playing with each other.

"SIR!" JARVIS said urgently, while Tony was laughing at Puppy chasing its tail. "INTRUDERS!"

"What?" Tony looked up, startled. Two men with crowbars and heavy sacks stood in the doorway, apparently as surprised to see him as he was to see them. They had, however, taken the precaution of wearing ski-masks, which wouldn't look at all weird in New York City in the middle of April.

"Hey," one of the men said, "we thought the place was empty. We'll just take some stuff you won't miss."

The smaller man nodded. "What the hell, you can afford it." He reached for one of Tony's auto mechanic wrench sets.

Tony was pissed. "Nobody touches my stuff."

"What are you going to do about it?" The small guy said as he tried to cram the steel box into his sack. "You're not Iron Man any more, are you?"

Tony stood up. JARVIS said, "SIR! Doctor Wu expressly forbids exertion!"

Tony sat down, breathing hard in frustration. Even under the ski-masks he could tell the thieves were gloating. Then he smiled. "K-9. Thundercat. ATTACK!"

Puppy and Kitty stopped playing. Their ears swiveled as they focused on the Non-Tony moving objects in the vicinity. Both of them raised all their back spikes and extruded their laser-pointers, their totally harmless office standard laser pointers. "YES, MASTER!" Puppy said in his stolen K-9 vocal clip. Kitty used a lion's roar. The lasers brightened.

"Holy shit!" The bigger man had obviously seen classic Dr. Who. He grabbed the other man's arm and shook it. "DROP it and RUN!" They fled with Puppy and Kitty barking and growling behind them.

Tony was still laughing when the police turned up to take the report.

**Author's Note:**

> Just found this today:  
> https://www.ucsf.edu/news/2015/12/122686/new-type-cell-found-repair-lung-injury-mice


End file.
